My paternal grandmother died sometime ago. My mother, siblings and I sat in the back of the church during the funeral service.At the grave site I felt even more like a stranger. I stood there lost in thoughts as Bishop Pinder continued with the service. Who are you Grandma? I thought. I have seen you everyday of my life for 20years, yet I do not know who you are.I have even slept in your home many nights, still I do not know you.What is the name of your mother and father? Did you ever take pictures of yourself? Did you ever love me? Why didn't you hug me or plait my hair, just once? Who are you Grandma?
You gave me breakfast when I slept at your home, you give me money on Saturdays. Each Saturday, you brought a purse full of change and ask us to select one. The one we selected was the one we kept. You took me to church with you and you made sure that I attended Bible classes on Friday evenings and vocational Bible School every summer, you taught me to say my prayers at nights, but who are you Grandma?
I looked around the grave site, my mother was crying, but she always cried at funerals. Bishop Pinder and the church members were all crying and grandma neighbors were crying. But I could not cry. I really tried but the tears just won't come.
As the service came to an end and I walked to my car. I realized that I will never see grandma again and I did not even have a picture. I also realized that she was not a "bad" grandma, so why was I feeling so numb and so empty? Why couldn't I cry for grandma?
My friends out there, talk to me, get it off your chest. Talk to me ....... I Am Listening!
Post a comment and send me an email at: iamlistening2011@hotmail.com
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